A Zero-Sum Game Read online

  The former was based on the equilibrium of unequal things, the distinctive characteristic of a good sword. It may be the blade that cuts, but it’s the hilt that is in control. When wielding a samurai sword, in order to obtain horizontal equilibrium, the extended finger must be placed on the juncture of the hilt and the blade. If the finger bears down slightly harder toward the blade, the greater weight of the hilt is magnified and wins the day. And from this came the Perdumesian maxim: cannon fodder should respect the rank of the person who holds the weapon. Hence the Quietism.

  The motion came from the tea bag. Perdumes would ceremoniously pour the hot water from his antique porcelain jug into a white cup and slowly remove the tea bag from its paper wrapping, allowing his audience to confirm the absolute transparency of the water. The tea bag was then gradually introduced into the cup at an angle of ninety degrees to the surface of the water. Initially, nothing happened. Then, when the tea could no longer bear the scalding water, it exuded a thin, blackish thread that diffused into the water. Perdumes would accentuate the effect by a series of upward jerks. The tea seeped out evenly in all directions until the correct hue was attained. But if one were to move the bag around without rhyme or reason, what would happen, he would ask rhetorically. You might say, exactly the same, he then quickly replied, yet turbid tea is acidic and doesn’t have the same flavor. The motion is necessary, in its proper time and place.

  After his informal conquest of the building, Perdumes’ foot soldiers went out to spread the word. Secondhand samurai swords began to be found everywhere. Others made their own from what looked like sharpened clubs, thus producing an epidemic of three-legged chairs. At times, the tea was replaced by other herbs: toloache, or devil’s weed, diffused like a form of plasma, slowly encapsulating the boiling water. In the end, no one could ever give a precise explanation of what Perdumes was talking about; Quietism in Motion had been born. When a couple of disheveled university types knocked on his door to reprove him, Perdumes knew that his spiritual conquest was complete. It was time to move on to action.

  2

  Why the hell did I shave when she’s said she likes me better with a bit of a beard? Max Michels reproached himself without moving away from the mirror. Did she really say that? Shit, I guess so. It’s no big deal, it’ll grow back in a few days. A few days? As if you’ve got much time left, you moron. We’ll see how much time I’ve got. Things are going to be different now. Yeah? If you say so. Good luck with what’s left.

  By this stage, he’d learnt that the best way to escape from the voices of the Many in his head was to seek a zone of consensus. But those barren wastelands offered only a bitter composure, so instead he dived down into a recapitulation of the events that explained his present dilemma.

  He went back to the time when the presidency of Villa Miserias was passed on by means of a procedure that was as opaque as everything around it: the outgoing president consulted the most longstanding families. The succession was so automatic it was boring.

  When Selon Perdumes became one of the notables with the right to express an opinion, he cooked up a simple strategy for producing a change of tack: first, he gave his blessing to the heir apparent. It was never certain if he was aided by luck or surgical calculation, but the candidate in question was Epifanio Buenaventura, who was due to inherit Buildings 17 and 19. According to protocol, the election could not take place before the stipulated lapse for registration. However, on the last day an extremely unlikely candidate put her name down: a woman in her early thirties named Orquídea López. After a brush with radical ideas on a steep downward path, the costs of everyday life had transformed her into a public sector employee. Orquídea was the nearest thing to dissidence Villa Miserias had ever seen: everyone assumed her to have been guilty of the wave of hood ornaments stolen from the most elegant cars on the estate. Her revolutionary fervor fizzled out as her comrades swapped the idea of guns for shoulder pads and Friday-night Cuba Libres. Orquídea lost her last illusions when the most extreme member of the clan registered for federal taxes: from that moment she changed into a receptacle in search of defining content. Quietism in Motion appealed to her disillusioned side: it seemed to atomize the weight of life in a social setting and deposit it on the individual. Orquídea was tired of moral vestments that didn’t match real human dimensions.

  The paradox is that she didn’t come from that class of people who have a head start in life. And for this reason she tenaciously clung to each new rung of the ladder she managed to ascend to. She didn’t miss a single alteration in the world around her: changes of image, the arrival of new furniture, extravagance at quinceañeras, men going off with younger women. Even things that didn’t concern her seemed an affront. Why was everything so easy for some people when it had been so hard for her? Why did everyone pay the same maintenance costs when they didn’t get the same level of service? People who lived nearest the security lodge were better protected; in contrast, others suffered more from the stink of trash. Every month she would make variants of these complaints to the administration office.

  When the outstanding interest of her downstairs neighbor’s debt was waived so he would pay off what he owed, Perdumes had to take her to his apartment and try to calm her. Of course she was right. The most frustrating thing was that everyone else was blinded by sentimental conformity. Had she noticed the gradual deterioration in Villa Miserias? Oh, yes, Don Selon, but that riffraff get what they deserve. Stupendous! Though it’s not really their fault, Orquídea. They’ve never had it any other way. Oh, I know, but what do I do? Sit here twiddling my thumbs? Of course not, Orquídea. But sudden upheavals are bad for everyone. Don’t forget that, bad for everyone. Would you excuse me a moment?

  Perdumes returned with a sword and a porcelain jug to explain the details of Quietism in Motion. First, we have to accept things as they really are, not how we’d like them to be. If inequality is inevitable, why not accept that as a point of departure? Oh, I don’t know, Don Selon. Where does that leave those of us who started at the bottom? Splendid! That’s what I’m getting to. It’s the reason why I brought my jug. As you well know, those who make the effort get their reward. Unfortunately, they are always in the minority, and it’s not fair that the others should get the same, just because. Let’s see, I’m going to ask you a question. Don’t you find it beneficial to watch your show-off neighbors going on cruises? It’s well known that people better off than ourselves help us to try to improve. If the carrot is too close to the horse, the animal will stop walking. The problem is that some people think we’re all thoroughbreds by right.

  The dialogue with Orquídea went on for weeks, moving slowly toward more specific issues. Then Perdumes suddenly, with an air of indifference, asked the question: Why don’t you put your name down for the election, Orquídea? Jeez, Don Selon! What election? We all know the same old people appoint the next president. Extraordinary! You’re right, but only because we’ve let them, Orquídea. Have you read the regulations of Villa Miserias? I have. If there’s more than one candidate, they organize elections. Hmm, so why has it never happened, Don Selon? Brilliant! For the same reasons we’ve talked about so often, Orquídea, but I believe an increasing number of residents are opening their eyes. Have you seen whose name they’ve put forward this time? Yes, that halfwit Epifanio Buenaventura, who can’t even talk properly. Incredible! Didn’t I tell you, Orquídea? You’re ready for action. If you don’t mind my saying so, more than a choice, I believe it’s a duty.

  The young assistant in the administration office suspected something was wrong: Orquídea López didn’t fling open the glass door. This time she slipped quietly in and stood motionless in front of his desk, regulations in hand, savoring the moment before the assault. After pinning her victim in his seat with her stare, she announced her intention to register as a candidate. Taken unawares, he began to seek a response among the disorganized papers on the desk, but was unable to come up with anything better than noting her details on a blank sheet to gain
time while he consulted his superior. Making an enormous effort to contain her laughter, Orquídea demanded the stamped acknowledgement of receipt she still has framed in the living room of her apartment.

  Having closed the office early, the young man telephoned his superior to explain what had happened. An emergency meeting was called and Selon Perdumes was in attendance. So much excitement made Epifanio Buenaventura’s tongue even clumsier than usual; the scant hair combed across his crown was beaded with sweat. He gave his father a pleading look in the hope of being able to abandon the race. No one knew quite what to say. They racked their brains in search of a strategy to ensure the victory of Epifanio, that representative of the only way of life they knew, but every word he spoke only sunk them deeper into despondency.

  “De thing is dat I don’t know de firsht thing about campaignsh.”

  Defeat was a foregone conclusion. Even Perdumes felt sorry for Buenaventura, and attempted to alleviate his suffering. Thus the regulations that would, from then on, be enforced in political contests in Villa Miserias were created.

  3

  REGULATIONS FOR THE VILLA MISERIAS PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS

  1.IN ORDER TO INTRUDE AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE INTO THE LIVES OF THE RESIDENTS OF OUR COMMUNITY, ELECTORAL CAMPAIGNS WILL LAST A MAXIMUM OF ELEVEN DAYS.

  2.TO GUARANTEE A MINIMUM OF FAIRNESS, ALL RESIDENTS WILL BE CHARGED AN EXTRAORDINARY SUM TO BE SHARED BETWEEN THE CANDIDATES.

  3.PRIVATE DONATIONS WILL BE ALLOWED UNDER THE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS: THE AMOUNT AND NAME OF THE DONOR MUST BE DULY REGISTERED WITH THE ADMINISTRATION. THIS INFORMATION WILL THEN BE KEPT IN CONDITIONS OF STRICT PRIVACY SO THAT THE VARIOUS DONATIONS CANNOT INFLUENCE THE ELECTORATE’S DECISION.

  4.EACH BUILDING WILL ORGANIZE ITS OWN MEETING TO CHOOSE THE CANDIDATE TO BE GIVEN ITS VOTE. TENANTS MAY ONLY ATTEND THIS MEETING BY PREVIOUS WRITTEN AUTHORIZATION OF THE OWNER OF THE APARTMENT.

  5.ANY UNFORESEEN DIFFICULTIES AND THE DUE SANCTIONS FOR VIOLATION OF THE RULES STIPULATED IN THIS DOCUMENT WILL BE RESOLVED BY THE BOARD. THE ELECTORAL POWERS OF THIS BOARD WILL BE PUBLISHED AT THE APPROPRIATE MOMENT.

  During the period when this document was being drawn up, several objections were raised and were immediately cut short by Selon Perdumes’ alabaster smile. Who’s going to want to fork out money for an irritating, shallow spectacle? No price can be put on the right to make decisions. Why are people who rent second-class residents? The vision of the owners is more likely to protect what in reality belongs to us all. What will candidates be able to buy with the private donations? The donations are simply to help the transmission of a message. The residents’ consciences aren’t for sale. When are we going to decide on the regulations for the intervention of the board? Would you excuse me a moment?

  The public reading of the document sank all doubts as a stream of water sucks the spider into its eddy. The faces of all present displayed grave satisfaction; they suspected they had created something that was greater than the sum of its parts. No one in his right mind would dare to question it. Epifanio Buenaventura became unusually fearless:

  “And we can convinshe dem dat I’m de besht candidate, can’t we?”

  Selon Perdumes kept his alabaster smile in check. Quietism in Motion had just cut its first tooth.

  4

  After confirming yet again that there were no tea bags left in the packet, Max Michels wavered between tearing it to pieces for its insolence and ensuring that he was really alone in the apartment. You only got away with it because she was running late, you miserable sod. And what if she finds there’s no tea for her breakfast? Better buy another packet before going and committing the supreme idiocy of becoming a candidate. I’ve got better things to do, she can buy her own fucking tea if she likes it so much. Huh, you’re all balls when she’s not around. Let’s see if it’s the same tonight.

  At the level temporarily reserved for what he understood as his Himself, Max wondered if he really was about to add his name to the list of previous Epifanio Buenaventuras. Thinking it over, registering for the election was an enormously arrogant act. What did he hope to gain by it? Before being obliged to conclude that what he was searching for was to be found somewhere else, he preferred to finish off his interior monologue. Better to stick with the dreaded Epifanio than see yourself turned into him.

  The residents of Villa Miserias reacted to the news of the electoral reforms with indifference. Few of them showed much inclination to follow the spectacle closely, but it soon became apparent that this was an advantage for the candidates. Even Buenaventura and his team realized that hardly anyone had what it took to form a sound opinion: the challenge was to learn to speak the dialect of the guts.

  Even though—for obvious reasons—there was no question about the result of the contest, Orquídea floored her opponent with a speech that, if more abstract, also managed to strike the simplest of chords. In contrast to Epifanio, who promised to sort out the plumbing and construct more play areas for the children, Orquídea sketched the porous outlines of a new life: the life they each deserved. She spent a whole night adapting one of her former mantras to fit the occasion. Using the same essential elements, she tweaked them to appeal to the dormant aspirations of her voters:

  SINCE NEEDS ARE DICTATED BY ABILITIES, VOTE FOR ORQUÍDEA LÓPEZ

  Every apartment in Villa Miserias received Orquídea López’s campaign leaflet, which basically asked the residents why their futures should be limited by other people’s aspirations. To illustrate her case, she used the example of Chona, the elderly lady in Building 23, whose putrid pension barely met the needs of herself and her beloved canaries. Orquídea’s leaflet demonstrated that if she didn’t have to to pay the communal water charge, Chona would be able paint the rusty cages in which her only companions lived, and buy special food to make their plumage glossier. And neither was there any reason why she should pay the same for the repairs to the front door of the building when she clearly used it less than the neighboring families.

  As Selon Perdumes’ outstanding pupil, Orquídea made use of the storytelling tradition to reinforce her message: the reverse side of her leaflet recounted her personal version of a fable clearly demonstrating the benefits of the adage that the whole is never more than the sum of its separate parts. She explained to the residents that the writer of these words was one of the first people to become aware of the serious error of talking to humans about what they should be, instead of what they really are. However, the fable needed updating since hers was not an age in which innocent little bees fitted the bill. The new metaphor had to be omnivorous, must have to fight for its life before going out to face the world, and must even be the enemy of its own siblings. Orquídea was fascinated to learn of a creature that was in the habit of throwing itself to the ground, its tongue hanging out and its eyes turned upwards, so that when its adversary—taking the animal for dead—relaxed its guard, it was able to flee. Without such cunning, the young animal would not even reach maturity as the mother only fed and protected two thirds of each litter, so that the least able were even spared the suffering of going through life, dragging their shortfalls along behind them. Orquídea was overcome by an ecstasy of inspiration and put the finishing touches to her electoral leaflet with a speed that was surprising, even for her.

  THE FABLE OF THE OPOSSUMS

  IN A POSSUM’S NEST

  THERE’S NO PLACE FOR FOWL

  THOSE WHO CAN’T GAIN THE BREAST

  HAVE TO THROW IN THE TOWEL

  THE BEES THAT GIVE HONEY

  HAVE GONE UNDERNEATH

  STORIES THAT ARE SUNNY

  ARE NO USE TO THE THIEF

  ENOUGH OF FALSE SERMONS!

  CAN’T YOU SEE THERE’S NO BALM?

  WHY WISH FOR DELUSIONS?

  THEY CAN ONLY DO HARM

  WRONG MAKES FOR RIGHT

  OH FABLES OF YOUTH!

  WRONG BECOMES MIGHT

  AND THAT IS THE TRUTH

  THE INDIVIDUAL IS KING

  THE GROUP
IS PURE SCHLOCK

  NO COMPETITION WITHOUT SWINDLING

  WHY IS THAT A SHOCK?

  LAWS PROTECT THE ELITE

  IT’S TIME TO TURN ON THE LIGHT

  WHY TAKE A BACK SEAT?

  JUDGE THE POOR IN THEIR PLIGHT

  EACH TO HIS SORORITY

  ACCRUING HIS WEALTH

  BLESSED BE POVERTY

  LET’S DRINK TO ITS HEALTH

  IF WE WANT TO KEEP OUR BIRTHRIGHT

  LET’S FORGET SAYING THANKS

  SQUARE UP FOR THE PRIZE FIGHT

  WE’RE BREAKING THE RANKS

  VOTE FOR ME: I AM YOU.

  The residents agreed: the time had come to leave paternalism behind. Forty-four buildings decided to come of age. By a majority vote, Orquídea López became the first female president-elect.

  The process gave rise to another local tradition: Juana Mecha had been head of the Villa Miserias cleaning staff for years. The sound of her broom was an unofficial signal for the start of each working day. She was so regular in her habits that mothers knew if they were late dropping the kids off at school by her location when they left the building. She was also given to expressing herself in enigmatic maxims, most of which were ignored by the people to whom they were addressed.

  In order to avoid the rush hour on public transport, Orquídea would set out for the office early, so she was always the first to leave. Her automatic “Good morning, Señora Mecha” was returned each day by some snigger-inducing phrase. On one of the days when Orquídea was still hesitating over whether or not to sign up as a candidate, her greeting produced a cryptic barb: “If you put everything in the wash together, the clothes lose their color.” Orquídea had spent the whole morning trying to decipher her words. When she decided on an interpretation, she knew what to do next and hurried to inform Perdumes that she accepted his challenge. She was completely unaware she’d inaugurated the strict custom of consulting the beige-uniformed oracle.